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This section provides teachers, students, parents, and school administrators quick access to an array of important educational information. |
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| Handling Problems that Arise at School |
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"That's Fine, But What If..."
One of the most difficult aspects of parenting is seeing our children struggle and fall, whether it is socially or academically. When we take our toddlers to the playground, we are delighted when they interact with others and are saddened when another child hurts their feelings. Similarly, we all hope that our children will do well in school. When they have difficulty or don’t measure up to our expectations, we experience uncomfortable feelings. Is there something wrong with the child, is it the teacher’s fault, or have we, as parents, somehow failed our child? In reality, all children will experience difficulty at some time in their school career. How they handle these problems, how we, as parents, and the school staff handle these problems will make a tremendous difference in our children’s future success in school. A positive approach to identifying and solving problems maintains self-esteem for all involved. A negative approach, or placing “blame,” can only hurt the situation.
- Four Categories - School problems generally fall into four categories:
- Academic - inability to learn, possibly due to low ability, lack of effort, emotional problems, or poor teaching
- Behavioral - inability to behave, possibly due to aggressiveness, feelings of inadequacy, hyperactivity, disruptiveness or truancy
- Social - a child’s unhappiness over peer relations
- Moral - inability to develop an acceptable sense of right and wrong, possibly due to changes in society, such as availability of drugs and alcohol, media violence, and lack of supervision. We must help our children develop a moral sense by teaching them good decision-making skills
Signs of problems developing can come from a variety of sources. The school may notify you of your child’s failing grades or behavioral problems. Or, you might notice changes in behavior, lack of interest in school, poor communication at home, lack of interest in friends, or apparent depression. Wherever the cues come from, it is important for us to look problems straight in the eye and develop a plan for helping your child. Learning and behavior problems have a cause; very often emotions and attitudes are at the root of such problems.
- Plan for Identifying & Solving Problems - Following is an objective plan for identifying and solving the problem which can be helpful.
- Get all the facts. Sit down with your child to discuss the issue. What do you see as the problem? What does the child see as the problem? What does the teacher see? Look at aspects of your child’s life, such as his/her attitude at home, recent changes (for example, a move or divorce), how your child spends free time, your own interaction and communication with the child, his/her responsibilities at home, and nutrition and grooming.
- Use a problem-solving method such as the “Four-Step Problem-Solving Process”:
Identify the “problem”
List all of the possible reasons for the “problem”
List all of the actions that could be taken
Decide what you will do
- Whenever possible, involve the child and teacher in this process. You may want to start with your child, then meet with the teacher to discuss the problem and possible solutions.
- It is in the best interest of your child to discuss all problems with his/her teacher. Enlist the teacher’s interest and support. Find out the teacher’s perspective on the problem and set up a mutual plan of action. It can be very helpful to have your child sit in on these conferences, so that he/she understands that you and the teacher are supportive, that a plan for improvement is important, and that the child has responsibility for parts of the plan.
- Try working with the teacher to correct the problem. However, if you are unable to enlist the teacher’s support or feel the teacher’s techniques are not helpful for your child, it is appropriate to make an appointment with the school principal. Plan your meeting so that it starts on a positive tone. Explain the problem and that you are looking for ways to help your child. Try not to place blame anywhere, but rather, focus on improving the child’s school situation. Give your suggestions for possible solutions, but also be open to any new ideas discussed. Other school personnel, such as guidance counselors or psychologists, can also be helpful.
- End all conferences on a positive note, with an agreed-upon, constructive and supportive plan of action. Be sure to keep in contact during the next month or two, by phone or conferences, to determine the effectiveness of the plan.
Teachers and other school staff try to have the best interest of the children in mind. They want the best education for your child, as do you. However, it is important to remember that they, too, are human, with lives and families of their own. Teaching can be a difficult and at times unrewarding profession. Teachers who feel appreciated are more motivated to do the best job possible for our children. As parents, we can show our appreciation by attending parent conferences, open houses, and other school events, by helping to establish teacher appreciation programs at our schools, by working together on solving problems (not laying blame), by writing a letter to the principal and/or school board praising a teacher who has helped our child; and last, but most importantly, sending a note of appreciation to our child’s teacher from time to time.
When parents and teachers take the time to get to know each other and the children, problems can be dealt with constructively. Children who see this “teamwork” between their parents and teachers and who are actively involved in the problem-solving process, will benefit greatly.
(Source: EPIC) |
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